Nirvanna
by Nico'sGirl
Summary: What I think should have happened after TSFT. And btw Kartik does not die because he SHOULDN"T HAVE DIED! Would Gemma not have gone to NY? I'm not to good at summaries, but don't take it out on my story! R&R yall! Lurve, Nico'sGurrrrrrl!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, but I do own the plot of this story

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, but I do own the plot of this story. R&R Y'all! See, your bringin out my good ol' country gurrrl hart! Love, Nico'sGurrrrl3

"Steady," Kartik murmurs as I, once again, stumble into his chest. "You need to sleep; you've been through a lot."

"Well, so have you, and you've not even yawned." I snap. I realize the severity of my tone and look up at him to apologize, but he is smiling at my displeasure. He kisses my hair lightly.

"Maybe," he says, "I am tired, but simply not as clumsy as you." I push him playfully.

The girls are far ahead of us, where they cannot see us. They all believe that Mrs. Nightwing woke them for a surprise morning sermon.

Ann and Felicity race up, matching our step. "Gemma," Fee has entered some kind of euphoric stupor, which she quickly ejects upon the rest of us. "Gemma, we did it! We conquered the Tree of All Souls! We did it! We are brilliant!" Elated, she skips before us, laughing.

"Felicity," Ann chastises her lightly, not really going to make her stop.

The doors to Spence's main building open and the girls file in. Kartik kisses me on the cheek. "Keep your window open tonight." He whispers. I smile as he disappears into the forest.

Ann tugs on my hand and pulls me through the doors of the great lady that is Spence. We have a brief time in our rooms before breakfast, and Fee, Ann, and I all sit in my room, discussing what has happened.

"Do you think," Fee starts, "That we can really manage the realms together? Ann will be at the Gaiety, I will be in Paris, and you will be having your season here in England."

"Well, of course we can." I say, trying to be diplomatic about this, even though this is a dilemma I have long been comprehending. "Maybe, Fee, you might put off going to France for a year, and Ann, once a fortnight, perhaps, we might secure a time to meet with you."

"What do you mean, put off France?" Fee growls, "Gemma, this is _Paris_. Besides, I'm actually going to like going to balls and parties and such, I need it! Gemma, you've already found love, but I've lost it. You'll endure it all like a martyr, but I'll enjoy it. Oh, the freedom of Paris!" Fee looks nearly in tears.

"But, Fee," I protest, "It's but a year. You can stay in England for one weensy year, just while we get things well in hand, then you can continue your season in great Paris." Felicity looks like she's being sent to the gallows.

"Please," she murmurs, "Don't give me these ultimatums."

"Here, now," Ann says, coming between us, "There is time enough for these decisions. For now, we will celebrate our victory. Tonight, perhaps we shall go to the caves. Just like old times, Gemma, Fee!"

Immediately Fee is brighten, "Ooh, our own little ball. Fantastic! We might take a bit more whiskey from the chapel though. And Gemma," I look up as she says my name, "Kartik can come." I swat her with my shawl.

"Fee!"

"What," she howls, "Ann and I both see how close you are." She pauses, and then makes a face, "The way you… _kiss._"

"Stop it." I mutter, still smiling.

"Oh, and we all know that you two went to the Caves of Sighs and _did something._" Felicity says with a devilish grin.

Ann lets out a little gasp, "Fee, you're too bold by half! That information really belongs only to Gemma."

"Oh, but dearest Ann," Fee pleads, "To think of it, the scandal of a girl of not but sixteen, already with a compromised virtue. Gemma, simply everyone suspects it! Everyone, of course being myself, Ann, Fowlson, and old Nightwing."

I make a show of carefully examining my shoes.

"Oh, Gemma," Ann moans, "You have, haven't you. Gemma," I don't look at her. "Gemma!" Ann snaps, getting my attention. "Gemma, what's going to happen when you two can't be together? Huh?"

"That won't happen; I'll make sure of it." I say, my voice faltering.

"With what, Gemma, the magic? No! You can't change that you are English and he is Indian."

Suddenly, I'm on my feet. "And you cannot change that I love him." I growl. This isn't like Ann, to say things like, to want me to lose hope.

"Gemma, I know what its like to be full of hope," Ann murmurs, "And to then be let down."

"But Ann," I say, feeling a bit of remorse for how I reacted to her words, the truth, "Now, you will go to the Gaiety, and all your dreams will be realized."

Fee stands up. "Come on, let's head to breakfast. We'll go on with our lessons like any other day, and then we will meet for our little ball."

"Alright," I say, "So we will."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own the plot of this story, but not the characters. Now get this through your thick heads please. JUST KIDDING! I love all my readers. But only if they R&R. Do it! You don't wanna know wat happened to the last reader who didn't review…..

"Quit shoving, Fee!" Felicity manages to embed her elbow into my ribs as we squeeze through the caves' narrow opening and try to scramble over the rocky terrain. "You've impaled me!" I moan dramatically. The mood is light and joyous and I simply can't bear to be put out with her.

Felicity clucks her tongue. "You impaled yourself. Watch those feet of yours." She laughs along with me.

Ann joins us in the cave after a few minutes. "Did you miss me terribly? I've secured the package."

"Excellent!" Fee lets loose with an unbridled cackle, something Mrs. Nightwing would cringe to hear. Ann removes the tall bottle of whiskey from her cape pocket. I hold out my hand.

"May I do the honors?" Ann places the cold bottle in my hand, the greenish tinted glass almost glowing. I pop the cork from the bottle's lips. "To us! To the Realms! And to many great ages to come." We let loose with tittering as I take a long swig from the whiskey. I have long grown used to the drink's fiery pungency. The bottle makes its way around to me again twice before I hear the shuffling of feet at the cave entrance. My breath leaves me in a sigh and Kartik enters the caves' inner chamber.

"Sorry I'm late," He murmurs, mostly to me. Of course, by this time Fee is barely lucid enough to register his arrival. She has always been one to give in easily to the call of spirits. Unfortunately, that is the only thing she will submit to.

"You know," she yawns to Kartik. "I never really would have put out your eyes." Kartik and I both wince remembering her previous fits of rage when Kartik witnessed Pippa in an indecent state and saw Fee sacrifice a deer for her own power. Pippa. What has become of her? Has she crossed over? Or was she already dead?

I feel lips upon my cheek and this distracts me from my own morbidity. Kartik's lips move across my face light as a whisper. I pass him the bottle of whiskey and he drinks, not even grimacing at the strong taste as Fee, Ann, Pippa and I did all those nights ago. It was just a few months, but it seems like a life time. And I suppose what we experienced few people do in their whole lives.

Ann has not spoken this whole time. She stares at her shoes. "Ann." I say, struggling to keep my voice serious. "What's the matter?" Unfortunately, I slur my speech, sounding like an insane drunk. Kartik laughs and I lean against his vibrating chest.

"Oh, Gemma!" Ann cries, "I can't do it! I simply can't go to the Gaiety! I'm not ready. I'm not the girl that people want to see on the stage. The only station I belong in is as a governess!" She descends into small hiccupy sobs. Fee goes to sit by her side and puts her arm around Ann. She offers her the whiskey bottle.

"Drink up, dearest Annie." She mutters. The spirits have made Felicity drowsy and morose. "We've all got something to cry about here."

"Fee…" I murmur, shaking my head.

She snaps her head up to glare at me. "Well, except for the two of you. Little pair of happy lovebirds sitting in a tree you are. Wouldn't notice if the world went up in flames, would you now? This whole time, you've lost nothing, no one at all!" Felicity stands up. She cranes her neck and spits at me, her saliva connecting with my cheek like a misguided raindrop.

I gingerly wipe the spittle from my face, and sigh. "Felicity, really, you've been drinking more whiskey than your fair share." I try to pry the half-drained bottle from her grasp, and she protests. I ignore her moans and clutch the whiskey to my breast, turning my back to her. Fee sighs and slumps against the cave wall.

"I suppose the remainder of these spirits is left for solely the consumption of you and me." I say lightly to Kartik. He smiles and we each take a few more swigs from the bottle. My head welcomes back that light, funny feeling. Soon, his lips are upon mine. I hear in the background Ann gasps a little bit. No, I shouldn't do this here. I've never been so forward in front of my friends.

But right now, with Kartik kissing me, I wouldn't have anything different.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish I was, I am, sadly, not Libba Bray. Oh, the mortification. Well, maybe if u READ AND REVIEW that will cheer me up. Loooove, Nico'sGirl!!

Gemma's POV

A thin stream of light works its way through the gap between my beige curtains. I roll over in my bed, shielding my eyes from the brightness. This causes me to bump in to a large mass that has somehow fixed itself next to me in bed.

_Kartik_

Now I remember. After returning from the caves, Ann and I helped the unconscious Felicity back to her room, where Ann spent the night to keep an eye on her. Kartik and I had retreated to my room and… released the tension that had been building up inside us. He waiting patiently for me to change from my dress and corset into my chemise for sleep. As I stood at the mirror, scrutinizing my reflection, Kartik was suddenly there beside me, burying his face in the curve of my neck. I dug my fingers into his thick curls, holding him there. Kartik then swept my feet out from under me and carried me to my bed.

I smiled and stroked his arm, causing him to stir, but not wake up entirely. I didn't think about getting up, for Mrs. Nightwing had said that we could stay in our rooms and relax yesterday and today, thanks to all our hard work the past few days. The other girls thought we had all caught a flu.

Suddenly, there was a tapping at the door. I hiss and fall out of bed, getting tangled up in the covers. I yank my chemise over my head as I wander to the door. I open it a crack, so no one can see Kartik in bed behind me. It's Mrs. Nightwing.

"Miss Doyle, you've received a telegram" She doesn't try and open the door further, just slips the envelope between the frame and door into my hands. "That will be all." She says, and moves on down the hall.

I savagely tear open the envelope, eager for news from the outside world. Its just from my grandmother, but for once I am happy to hear about her gossip and idle chatter. My eyes scan the page. And then…

"WHAT!?!?!?" My shriek of horror awaked Kartik.

"Gemma? Gemma are you okay?" He says, tripping on the tangled covers.

"I… Oh, god! Kartik, Grandmamma wants me to come and stay with her in London until my debut. I will take the train in three days time." Tears well up in my eyes. How will I see Kartik now, keep him safe from the Rakshana? How will I convene with Ann and Felicity?

"Kartik, Kartik, I'm leaving Spence forever." I wail, folding my body into his embrace

"Shh, shh." He soothes me. "I'll find a way to you, and so will Ann and Felicity. And, we have three days to spend alone together. Let's enjoy it…" I listen to his voice, and immediately I feel calmer. Kartik leads me back to the bed and we resume our activities from the night before.

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I haul my last trunk into carriage. "Well, that's it." I say, wiping my gloved hands in manly fashion to elicit a few laughs.

"Gemma, Gemma, oh God we'll miss you!" Felicity slings her arms about my neck and plants a somewhat sticky kiss on my cheek.

"Fee, don't take the Lord's name in vain!" Ann pouts. Fee rolls her eyes. "But I will miss you terribly Gemma. Don't hesitate to write or send a telegram."

"Ann, Felicity, its only going to be two weeks, unless, of course, you've found some party better than my coming out ball!" I giggle. They're acting as if they shall never see me again. Kartik was acting the same way when we said our goodbyes this morning.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Gemma, you know that, but two weeks is an insufferably long time here at Spence, where every minute creeps by like an eternity." Fee bubbles. This gushing is much unlike her, but I accept it anyway. "I wonder how you all will bear to stay alive when I go to Paris!"

"Fee, have you given any thought to what we talked about?" I say.

"Gemma, I just can't stay here another minute. You and Ann can manage the Realms without me until I return, can't you? It's only two years, two years to rejoice in the magic of France. Then I'll come home for a while, I promise. I'll send letters I swear and you can fill me in and I'll give my opinions and everything of the like!" Fee grabs me by the shoulders, staring into my eyes, her grey eyes smoldering with a passion I thought was gone form her, the fire that burned in her eyes when she used to talk about Pippa.

Pippa. What had happened to her? Did she die? _Could _she die? If she was dead, where was she in the Realms? Did she cross over?

I put these questions out of my mind. I could find out more about Pippa later. "Okay, okay. I guess that will… work for now…"

"Ohhh Gemma!!!" Felicity squeals and hugs me once more. "I swear, only two years and I'll respond to every single letter, and even the ones you didn't write!" Fee starts giggling. _Giggling_. Maybe she's gotten over Pippa. Maybe everything will be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the Gemma Doyle Trilogy. OMG I'm sorry to disappoint you guys! I'm so upset! You guys know, however, that you can always make me feel better if you Read and Review! Love to all my readers! Xoxo Nico'sGirl/ Juliet

As Spence disappeared in the background, I found myself suddenly drowsy. I leaned my head against to glass window, and fell asleep as my breath fogged up the glass. I awake with a shock as the coachman tapped lightly on my shoulder.

"Miss," he says, "We've arrived at the train station." My eyelids remain heavy as he grabs my gloved hand and helps me step down from the carriage.

"Yes," I say incoherently. "Er, yes, thank you." I then scrounged about in my purse for the fare I had counted out before leaving Spence and handed him his wages.

After the coachman had stowed my bags on the train and I was situated in my compartment, I began to dose again. And this time, I dreamed. Pippa was the focus of my dream, it appeared. She was flying through the air, but I wasn't very sure, for I could only see her grim face, her dirty ringlets blowing back in the breeze. The wind howled around her. She turned back and shouted something to someone behind her in a language I did not understand. An equally unintelligible response followed. The voice was a hoarse crackling, a whispering croak. At this, Pippa smiled, her grin chilling me to the core. I didn't understand. Hadn't Pippa been crushed beneath the rubble? And who was her new companion, who sounded like death itself? I couldn't deny, however, that I was glad to see her. Maybe she was better, more savable. A tad panicked, I called out to her.

"Pippa?" At first, a cautious whisper, and when she didn't answer, I called louder. Then louder and louder and louder until I was screaming. "Pippa, Pippa, Pippa!" I cried out. A single tear trickled down my cheek, and I awoke to the whistle of the train blowing as we reached Victoria Station in London. I hesitantly reached up to touch my cheek. The tear had made a clear trail across my skin.

After I dismount from the train, Tom finds me immediately. "Gemma, you look simply awful." He says with a very unmanly pout.

"It's lovely to see you too, Thomas." I say, smacking him lightly with one of my gloves.

"My, have you been crying?" he bends down to inspect my face, speaking to me in the condescending manner he would to a child. "Grandmamma will simply have none of this, you know. You must be more mature, as your season is so fast approaching." He frowns, then gives some long-suffering sigh, as if the work he has been doing here in London is even comparable to the monumental works he knows perfectly well I have been performing in the Realms. "I suppose there is just no barrier erectable that can come between a woman and her emotions."

"Why Thomas, has your ego become even more inflated since I saw you last?" I quip.

"What a little comedienne you've become, sister." Tom retorts with equal snark.

To this I do not even reply; I simply use his hand for support as I enter the hansom cab my brother has secured to take us back to Grandmamma's London home. During the journey, Tom asks about the general goings-on at Spence, avoiding the topic he clearly wants to know most about. The whole idea of the Realms is still so new to him that the mention of it continues to appear a smidgen taboo. Eventually, however, he can contain his curiosity no longer.

"Gemma, not to be out of line in any way, but I simply must inquire… How are the Realms?" he asks, a certain fascination twinkling upon his eye.

"Well, like the gentleman you are, I assumed you'd just never ask about such a feminine affair." I make sure to stress the power of women in the Realms. Tom really ought to learn his place, after all.

"Yes, yes, the day was surely saved thanks to yourself and your damsel cronies. Now please inform me, Gemma." Tom says with a minute roll of the eyes, and I decide not to goad him further.

I launch into the story of what transpired a few nights ago, leaving out some of my less grateful moments. I end with our emergence from the Realms. I feel that telling my brother of mine and Kartik's exploits and the drinking episode in the cave would be less than prudent. Tom's face ranges between delighted and appalled at all the appropriate moments, and I am encouraged to believe that he has long been waiting for this story, already anticipating how excited to act.

I turn my face to gaze out the window as I finish up narrating the lengthy tale. Rain patters lightly on the glass. The impenetrable fog clears a bit and I can see the looming figure that is our city home.

"And the rest is history." I finish quickly. Tom begins to protest a bit, but I squelch his speech and say, "Thomas, we've arrived. You're a grown man; surely you can wait a little longer for the ending to a simple story?"

"Yes, yes, of course." Tom says begrudgingly and swings the door open. The driver sets out a footstool, allowing Tom to exit. The driver then helps me out of the cab.

As the driver lays a hand on my shoulder, he pushes his lips up close to my ear and whispers, "Kartik will be hear shortly, my lady."

I do not even ask for an explanation. I've long grown used to Kartik's utilization of strange connections to contact me. I only nod curtly, an acknowledgement of his service.

The driver who is an ally of Kartik then carries my baggage up to the front stoop. The lamps are lit within, and silhouettes are seen in the windows. They are waiting for us. Thomas and I climb the stairs together, getting ready to face the storm that is Grandmamma. As the driver departs, and our butler opens the door, I rely in the back of my mind upon that new, comforting piece of information: Kartik is coming.


End file.
